A little bit of background, my bf and I have been in a relationship for about 2.5 years. We’ve both moved closer to be with each other. I notice that he always holds me to a higher standard than his friends.
For example, when he moved, he was annoyed that I couldn’t help him unload his stuff when he moved as I would be tired next day for work. One of his friends said he was busy and he didn’t mind but he was annoyed that I couldn’t help him. Another example, he got sick with Covid recently and asked me to get some stuff (he asked the previous night) before my work started but I woke up late, so couldn’t and he got annoyed at me for that too. He says he took good care of me when I had Covid (he really did, he was by my side the entire time, made me food and bought me medicines) and that he expects me to do atleast 10% of what he did. The other day, he got sad as he got into an accident (someone rear ended his vehicle) and that I wasn’t more understanding and got annoyed that I couldn’t be picked up on time. I feel like I if I don’t do something right, he gets annoyed/sad.
The thing that bothers me is that if a friend doesn’t help him, he doesn’t really care but if I don’t he gets annoyed/sad and he says that partners are different that friends. I really do love him and just because I couldn’t help/comfort him a few times doesn’t mean I’m not a good girlfriend, right?
TLDR: Bf gets annoyed when I can’t help him with stuff and holds me to a higher standard than his friends, is this normal?
By - Feeling_Watercress82
Friends aren’t as close as S/O If you wanted to be friends with him, you would be. You’re not, so both of you hold each other to higher standards. He shouldn’t have asked for your help moving as that was his thing and friends are equally as helpful in that regard. But I wouldn’t ask my friend to take care of me when I am sick, I might ask a loved one (maybe) or the easiest solution, the person living with me. You need to be more understanding and caring simply because you’re in a relationship
Btw, I didn’t mean you specifically need to be more caring, I mean those who join together in a relationship. He can be annoyed as long as he’s not really rude
Sorry, if I'd move somewhere to be with someone and they didn't help me I'd be pissed as well.