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scorpio_

People in here can't read page 2 of a trading halt announcement, let alone an actual financial report. Even with all of that info, we would still be buying pre-revenue dogshit scamdreams based on rocket emojis.


wordplayar

What's the ticker of this pre-rev mob you are talking about??


Pricmanw

You comment needs more emojis. 💩


OhRoshambo

I see you saw my management presentation.


Okayiseenow

Nice try ASIC


PowerBottomBear92

Why bother hacking into a company when you can beat someone with a large spanner?\* \*for legal reasons this is not financial advice


Synkronicity

May as well just encrypt all their data and ask for a ransom


Virtual-Dish95

Yes this, how do I invest into this?


dontletmedaytrade

Just go on a date with someone from KPMG’s audit department. That’s what I did.


Profunwell

This would not work for me, I don't like people.


Wannaliveinpenthouse

It would be much easier to just know some insider. By the way this should be reflaired dumbfuck discussion


FallenSegull

I mean, you can do this. But aside from all the other laws you break doing it, any money you make from the trading is going to be insider trading


37elqine

On the wrong forum mate u need to head over to Breach apparently it’s the hackers paradise


Jcs456

Bonus points for editing the speadsheets to benefit your current positions.


thegoodchode

No


beezeebuz

I stopped reading at “juicy excel sheets “ . Sounds like lots of hard work.


Weekly_Interest

>Obviously, this is a joke and I’d never commit insider trading. However, hypothetically this should work right? 😆 You wouldn't be an insider in this scenario. And no, it probably wouldn't work. Having worked as an internal auditor in my, albeit limited experience, external auditors tend to get no meaningful information beyond what they're told by staff and management.