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This thread is for plans and thoughts prior to the market open period.
Maybe use this time to read the wiki .
Posts relating to the "Is /r/ASX_bets about finance or effect your mental health?" etc will lead to a ban of the mods chosing. You have been warned.
By - AutoModerator
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It worked last time ol mate went about doing this.
And... we are officially suspended. IVZ Praying for us my whale u/StinkyFatWhale
Lol. Prayers answered. But possibly we just moved to the back of the queue to face the firing squad
IVZ Suspension... what the fuck?
Actually, it could be a good thing. Specially on a heavy red day like today.
exactly
pretend your portfolio doesn't exist, like a monster under the bed.
get yourselves a jim cramer nightlight. don't be afraid of the dark. jerome powell isn't real.
Hoping to fill that ancient 4c... And 3.8c VML orders today. Generously accepting your thoughts and prayers 🤰🏾
I wouldn't mind the 4c order but damn it'll be a sad day to hit 3.8c again
So exr is taking a bite out of QLD. Very interesting
I bet TMZ goes up today. On the reddest of red days, somehow somewhere, some people always decide to buy a dog tin miner. Maybe they get "texas" confused?
I love this shit too. Watching the random junk catch a bid while everything else goes max fear
ABB small profit. But... NTA has dropped from $0.29 to negative $0.63
[https://www.herald.co.zw/637757-2/](https://www.herald.co.zw/637757-2/) >Pensioners pray for oil, gas break through | The Herald > >MUZARABANI. –Thousands of pensioners are on the cusp of securing a life-changing turn in financial fortunes if drilling tests in the Muzarabani oil and gas project Damn, even the Zimbabweans are ripping on HC now
EXR coming off trading halt, classic doggo move, positive news when market is completely fuk
Just announce proposed issue of securities 20 million shares
Aaww we‘re getting gang-banged today are we? How boring.
I can't imagine "gang-bang" and "boring" usually go together in the same sentence very often
If it happens often enough?
Pray for whale 😢
Scotty edging us this morning. Give us the news
I'll pray with my LOVe
Fmg dividend 1.21 per share
Better go cook that pre market piggy. Pork Scotch fillet is on the menu for breakfast.🚀🚀🐖🐖
PLS is the only holding that is up a notable amount, but of course it's my smallest holding too. No idea what to do with it.
I’m the same. Thinking it will definitely drop this week but long term not a problem. Depends if you wanna try sell and buy back in
Sell your winners, and add to your losers, right?
Who’s selling ivz today?
People on the OTC market
Probably no one if they extend the halt a day. The CR details listed *Resume Trading Tuesday* so we'll see what eventuates in the next hour
The ol' skip trading on the huge red day trick.
red day
Yo first time here Does anyone know how I can look at premarket or aus futures to find out how fuk I am?
Set 'im fucked' as your default setting and enjoy the fleeting moments when you beat expectations. #lifehack
You got it
It's too soon to know how fuk you are. You learn in hindsight. Market goes up. Market goes down. Cycle of life. Stay calm and carry on.
I am calm haha, I’m actually quite short and looking for buying opportunities
What’s your height got to do with anything?
Here we go [https://au.investing.com/indices/indices-futures](https://au.investing.com/indices/indices-futures) I wouldn't look at it today, tough
Nah I love the pain Plus I’m short delta so down is great + more buying opportunities
RIP to all the companies releasing positive results on a day that follows a 3.5% drop on the US markets, bad day to have to shoot all your ammo
Buy shares in ammo companies you say? Done
Lithium and Uranium pullbacks should be pretty brutal today 😫
WHAT FLAVOUR DIP MIGHT I INDULGE IN TODAY, FINE DEGENERATES? = this is your bullshit “blessed” reframe brought to by a perfect seeming individual that you just wanna punch their face in so they can quit the high and mighty for a day :)
Is there a free site I can use to view the current buy / sell orders for a company? Is that what brokers call 'market depth'?
yup - sign up with cmc and/or commsec - just don’t trade :)
LOV results...oof! NPAT up 116% Revenue up 59.3%,EBIt up 86.6%, Div of 37cents (7%) If the stock doesn't go up the markets rigged Europe sales up 249% USA sales up 91% Asia and Afrixa sales up 35% I mean what more do you want! Edit: more news FY23 first 2 months same store sales up 21% and toral sales up 66% on first 2 months of fy22 22 new stores already opened this calender year 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
Is that you with a sell order in for $23.50?
Nah that's my alt forcing the price up..shhh don't say anything
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Thanks for the analysis, worked great
Why you gotta say that? I'll buy you some fake jewelry so you can join in
Yeah but do they have any chance at all of hitting sweet Zimbabwe gas?
They just opened a store in Namibia...same same right? 🇳🇦
14hrs until Artemis 1 launches. Literal rocket to the moon. If this isn't a sign, I don't know what is https://youtu.be/jSYiXWEjgcc (yes I am optimistic)
What's the ticker?
NASA 😎
Thoughts on CKA ? I’ve owned it for over a year and it’s starting to look sexy
Starting to come together. I'm sure they'll find a way to fuck it up a few more times though.
Like a gruesome car crash most people won’t be able to resist looking today. I, an intellectual, know whats best for me, so i will be deleting commsec and masturbating all day. 🧘🏻♂️
All day?? That’s elite
True to his name
Black Rob - Whoa!
had to double check to see if I remembered it right but sure enough Diddy is driving a red truck
Breaking News: [Boomers “Sure thing, can’t go tits up” investment goes tits up](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-08-29/greywolf-investment-opportunity-shareholders-lose-savings/101373146) Poor cunts. Is this going to be us in 30 years?
That arrival could have been about so many stocks, just goes to show asic don’t do shit, maybe Tom should takeover ASIC
It's sad these scams still work and probably always will. People can be way too trusting when handing over large sums of money. Those poor souls learned a very hard lesson. Wouldn't happen to me though... *eyes ANL*
Bollocks to that….Grabs his balls *IOU Pay*
Nup not me either *shudders XST*
Not sure whether to upvote or downvote this. 😖
It’s us now. We just don’t know it (or refuse to believe it)
Too real 😶
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Who doesn’t love a good scam dream though, aye?
I've just spent the weekend in Las Vegas making some very non-calculated punts 🎲🎲♠️♦️🃏🎰 Went off-road riding through the Nevada desert, shot a 50 cal. And M60 light machine gun (freedom rounds ofcourse) 🇺🇸🦅🔫 and spent a fortune on the strip and old Vegas. Was worth every dollar 💵 Now let's get into another week of stock market fluff and paper gains so it can be all spent again on craps and black jack 🃏🎲🤌
Did you check in on the PENis operation?
'MERICA, FUK YEH
this is teh way
I’ve started making my own bread recently, it’s quite addictive to learn different types and shits all over Coles bread. In other news SIS, after their most likely upcoming cap raise.
Let’s ~~get~~ bake this bread 🦆
It's a slow decline. One day you're making bread and everything is hunky dory. then you're synthesising lidocaine out of lube and burning chemical kisses into people's hands with lye.
Nasdaq is going back to 10k
Sounds like a ban bet to me
My SNAS just got aroused.
Starting a 2 month holiday off work this week, not sure if i throw myself into the markets of ignore completely...
Ignore, and have a good holiday 🍻
All your markets are be run by bots.
My bots are run by bots
My bot is being dominated by a roboerotic market.
Anyone else thinking we could throw u/Chzakalwe into a volcano?
Yes. And also do me next. I crave death's sweet release in volcano form 🌋
He couldn't get anymore red, I don't see the harm
I mean there's always a possibility he stumbles upon some sort of secret lair..
A secret flair? Reddit sorcerer
What’s the negativity for around IVZ on here today? Have I missed something?
Easy now my fuzzy little manpeach. You ever drink Baileys from a shoe?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owdggOdLDLM
You're getting milked champ. Scotty gave 20% of your ownership to some sophs at ~0 risk to them, for not enough working capital and will still probably farm the thing out. There are some announcements coming to give them the liquidity cushion they need to get out, which are carrying some optimism that the market will still care about some more highly speculative estimates about what's in the ground under Zimbabwe this late in the day.
Why do you say "will still probably farm the thing out"? It is a possibility but not probable
Just for dramatic effect. I clarified a bit below
Glad I sold at the .23 sell wall last month. now to FOMO in again at .25 Buy high sell low, FOMO is the way to go. 🤪
Ah shietttt, where’d you find out about this?
hot coper. I'm exaggerating a bit btw, I don't think the details are fully available yet as to whether it's enough money and/or they still need a partner.
Cheers mate 🤞
If Anakin never left Tatooine he definitely would have turned C3P0 into a sex-bot during his greasy teen years. Short Disney
Sex bot sex bot you’re my sex bot 🎶
Anyone game enough to rule34 that shit
You sure it hasn't been done already somewhere?
(The sad bear market poems have started before market open. I'm a join) I once had an inverse called WEBS I sold it after much value shed A week or two later Jackson Hole came along And now I am left singing a sad song Unhedged
👏 👏 hedging, never heard of her officer.
Edging you say?
May I have one helping of poo poo please
Twas the night before announcements, when all through the subreddit, Not a creature was stirring, not even a gay bear. The bags were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Scotty soon would be there. The shitposters were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of lambos danced in their heads. And mods in their towers, and I in my cardboard box, had just settled our debt for a string of ban bets
^(TWAS THE DAY OF THE SPUD) ^(AND ALL THROUGH THE SITE) ^(THE WATER WAS GUSHING) ^(WITH SUCH POWERFUL MIGHT) ^(TWAS NO GAS AFTER ALL) ^(THE ANNOUNCEMENT HASTENED TO ADD) ^(IT WAS PURE H2O, WHICH FOR INVESTORS, WAS QUITE SAD)
LET. THE BOY. WATCH. https://youtu.be/_hPp4dgmrc8 If ya need a laugh, check it
Legit one of my favourite blooper reels. When Ferrell starts breaking saying "I can feel the tension in the air" it gets me everytime.
Haha 💯
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IVZ gang should get together to do waka waka
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Is it time to talk about BBOZ and BBUS yet?
Yes - good call.
As a glue sniffing American, some one is going to get burned HARD at open. We had a panic sell throughout the day because perma-bulls believed our Fed bank was too chicken shit for a recession. Now they’re trying to price in a recession. Coming from a bear, Expect to lose August gains at least.
“Expect to lose August gains” Hahaha jokes on you there weren’t any gains! Oh wait fuck
Greetings fellow regard
Who is this some "one" you speak of?
Cheers cunt, but your warnings are wasted here. We've been prepping for 36 months sideways down 🔥🇹🇭💃
A few WSB visitors of late. Hmmm.
It's just a bunch of Hank Shraders after our minerals
Is Australia the new Europe?
Are they looking for Austria, maybe?
Austrie Austrie Austrie! He! He! He!
"If you ever feel powerless, just remember a single one of your pubic hairs can shut down an entire restaurant." -bathroom stall, 2022 So f*k the bears and Powell and his Jackson hole!!!
Just a reminder LOV results tomorrow.... get your cheap jewelry ready for 60% growth and a 7% dividend! Gonna be a good day
Lofty valuation on LOV though
A p/e of 30ish after tomorrow's results on ~60% growth for the year and a 7% divvy? In this market that's pretty good. WES is on a p/e just over 20 and they barely growing anymore
They own a lithium mine, and you're backreferencing growth and forecasting earnings there to justify that P/E
WES earnings literally just came out and LOV tomorrow? 🤣 But if that doesn't work look at future growth or even historical growth over the past 5 years. LOV win both. Or look at div yield, I mean there's multiple things Owning a lithium mine doesn't justify an above 20 p/e, that's a tad optimistic
Will LOV continue to grow at the same rate as the last 5 years? How do we look at future growth? That's the thing with LOV is that it's been amazing, and might continue to be amazing, but it's hard to know for how long and how amazing it will be. I love BECKY more than most people, and LOV might be a nice investment, but it's not your typical value investor pick. Owning a fuckoff huge lithium deposit as well as a very good retail business like bunnings does go some way towards justifying a P/E of 20. I won't claim that their P/E is justified, just that it's more complicated than the retail story alone.
[Dido - White Flag](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-fWDrZSiZs) 🎵*I will go down with this shipppppp* 🎵
Dude i love Dido when i was young. Is he still alive?
https://youtu.be/OFtNChII78k 🎼nothing is truly mine.🎶
[Enya - Only Time](https://youtube.com/watch?v=7wfYIMyS_dI) 🎵 *who can say where the road goessss* 🎵 ps im crying into my chardonnay right now
Dont let me down IVZ
Be back to 23c by next week
Sounds like a bet
Sounds like you’re coping
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Shut your cunt mouth. It’s better when you tell your lies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U
I repeat its been two days since Jackson Holes comments, it’s priced in now. Green Monday confirmed imo, let’s just move on yeh, ok sweet.
Gimme some of that hopium
It's just your end of month tree shake to wash out the weak hands, hodl!!! - been getting high on hotcopper
We all know there will be one to three highly regarded stocks that do well tomorrow whilst the ASX takes a hot dump over all our portfolios.
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GRR?
I think they will take a hit too. I’m expecting a dumpster fire tomorrow
I think 2 of them of have their ex-divs coming up so ppl will want to pile in now which may curb any potential losses tomorrow
I’m sure rich boomers will pile in soon…
Don't forget coal
That's 50% of my holdings right there.
I sold everything and dropped it all on bboz on Wednesday. 36k shares @ 4.07 Hopefully the asx200 drops to 6k quickly.
I sold the nice, kind part of my soul to stay sane in this place long ago... so I'll be the big bad wolf tonight. Calling a proof or ban on this one. u/mcfucking
Looks like they came through 👍
https://imgur.com/gallery/JvrwBZs
God speed, may the markets bless you
👍
Proof or ban hotdog nuts
https://imgur.com/gallery/JvrwBZs
I like how your brokerage app/site lists units as having 2 decimal places as if you could own a fraction of a share
They allow you to purchase fractions with US equities. It is Stake fyi - user friendly app, 3 dollar brokerage in AUS, and free trades in the US..
Ah ok didn’t know that, ta
A 146k yolo into bboz. almost worthy of a proof... 🤔
https://imgur.com/gallery/JvrwBZs
He didn't write it like a dickhead trying to be a hero... I'm inclined to believe the madness.
Do it do it….
https://imgur.com/gallery/JvrwBZs
We know the ASX is dumping tomorrow. And surely our skewed_phalus will come through with some juuuuuicy gain porn right..... right?
I am down 5 percent in the couple of days I owned it. Probably break even Monday then hope it continues going up.
Silly bear.
# # Free Sniff
🤧
Sniff the bliss
Yeah ok I'll have one if its free
Lithium prices about to go for a run. Chinese brines remain impacted. Power and water rationing still in force. The brines are then due to shut in winter. If we can weather the volatility tomorrow, I reckon non Chinese lithium stocks are due for another run, similar to December 21/Jan22.
Brines have always been a poor option, especially when sourced in places like the Atacam Desert - change my mind!
Get with the times. So long as you are in quality brine, you can’t go wrong. [Quality Brine](https://www.woolworths.com.au/shop/productdetails/30023/john-west-tuna-light-in-brine)
Vroom vroom