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Far_Unit9020

The only pleasure I'll take from the market today is reading comments about illegal market manipulation on HC 🍿 Might even come across a boomer that's calling up to speak with management.


HeiPando

Haven’t really been stressed over stocks for a good month and a half now. Looked into the mirror holy fuck my hairline is growing back again 🥰


Triog0n

Thats good to hear, stress leads to bad decisions and lifes meant to be lived so good work


Pound-Few

Can we just like not open?


Doomkoon4648

Apparently the #ASX has power issues and they don't know if they can open. Iress is down aso.


BadWantMoneyNowMeSic

Electricity prices too expensive


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The_Bearjew_bottom

SPAC for my garden launches today. 40% Lettuce 40% Capsicum, 20% garlic to hedge against aphids. Also included is GardenCoin, new stablecoin backed by worm farm compost.


Economy_Difficulty71

Hope y’all got a nice dress on so as to look pretty when you get fucked today.


YouHeardTheMonkey

Curious to see how URNM goes on release today.


its_0_scam

What etf can a buy that has lettuce included


Ashley_Sophia

I recommend ICE or COS for high returns, otherwise can suggest CAB if ur feeling cheeky. Be aware that this is a riskier play and may produce a negative response from females.


BrettoStevens

Can't wait to see market open!!!


Asxpuntingmuppet

U sik bastard …


Ashley_Sophia

Sure brett. Rub in that misplaced enthusiasm into our GAPING wounds like SALTED GRAVEL. fukkin bretto......


NearSightedGiraffe

When is the next ban post? Just wanting to know when my week ban starts


Asxpuntingmuppet

Autists begging for bans hits ATH … bottom must be close


mcfucking

Post up today 4:30 ban will come 6-7ish when i get around to it. (Time is from potato cake timezone)


NearSightedGiraffe

Cheers! That will help me enjoy the long weekend


Ashley_Sophia

Potato SCALLOP \*fixed ur typo


mcfucking

🤢🤮 It's potato cake...


Ashley_Sophia

U got vomit on my new shoes you philistine. P.S How good are potato cakes/scallops? 11/10 if u add a bit of cheeky chicken salt.


mcfucking

Gotta be real potato slices. Once you've had real, the pressed mash ones just don't cut it...


Ashley_Sophia

FUK never heard of this magic fuckery before? Real potato slice battered? Ok, I'm on a mission to find this oily unicorn. thx for info.


jtrulerededit

Another good announcement from BUBS. Only 38% more to get back into green.


SnooDonuts1536

priced in


BigKevStocking

Everyday I'm suffering


Razorzej

Damn now I’ve got Redfoo in my head


Doomkoon4648

Waiting for me funds to clear for a top up on ixr, then dropping computer in the ocean..


staytha

But don't you have 1000000 shares exactly?


Doomkoon4648

2.2mil so far. these shares (250k) are in other account im using (hoping) to use to pay off my house in 5 years


staytha

God speed


Calm_Lengths

Obviously going for the next million


Calm_Lengths

Love to see dip buying, and we might finally get ourselves back to 9c


Doomkoon4648

yeah wasn't going to but here we are at stupid prices.


Calm_Lengths

I'm also going to punt some money in if it drops below 4c, but i really hope it doesn't break that 4c support.


jtrulerededit

People will believe anything that’s why we have religion and cunts from GS.


Shawzus

You still think this is GS fault you really are a dumb cunt


jtrulerededit

Bro relax its not my fault if you don't understand sarcasm


Shawzus

Sorry should have added “if”


ewanelaborate

Yeah, it was funny for abit. It's getting pretty sad and boomer petty now.


SnooDonuts1536

war in us, war in russia, war in ukraine, war in taiwan, bla bla bla who cares it's going to the the war between me and my wife that's I'm worrying about when she knows I'm losing 30% of "her" money on the stock market


Far_Unit9020

She signed up for that loss when she married you bro


Asxpuntingmuppet

The first casualty of war is always the truth


Ashley_Sophia

Bunch of flowers and a nice footrub? She'll forget bro


Mitchuation

Low key how good is a foot rub


Ashley_Sophia

DONT GET ME STARTED SONNY. \*sigh\* I clean in between my monkey toes AND bite my toenails off but still NO FOOT RUB. WEN FOOTRUB HUSBAND??????


Mitchuation

Give this women her foot rub! *grumble grumble*


Ashley_Sophia

I know some of my husband's mates use dis sub. TELL HIM I WOULD LIKE A FOOTRUB PLS FRENDS


coastie_trader

i told my wife it may get fucked up about a month ago. this way she's not surprised now. god lover her


Shawzus

I would suggest not looking today. Come back Wednesday


Ashley_Sophia

You can't skip Deadlift Day bro. You'll regret it! Friday is best day. It may hurt but the gains are worth it in the future.


SnooDonuts1536

why do you skip Tuesday?


wallyone123

Why do you skip Monday?


Shawzus

I think the start of the week will be shit as well


dick-face-dick-face

alright, i'm back. was working on site for a big job the whole week and missed the carnage. what the fuck happened to IXR? why am i now 25% in the red? thank you.


coastie_trader

no mate you didn't miss the carnage the carnage is happening today. RIP all us cunts


Economy_Difficulty71

Not wrong. I got a lil BBOZ though so I’m gunna feel good about that


dick-face-dick-face

fuck yeah.


Calm_Lengths

No reason aside from the general doom and gloom of may/june and interest rate rises


dick-face-dick-face

perfect. wouldn't mind a bee's dick of green.


Ashley_Sophia

Welcome back Dick Face


Ashley_Sophia

Edit: Thank you for my award, Mr Dick Face. xoxox


mison82

Going down with the ship 🚢 👨‍✈️…


Ashley_Sophia

Not again? Titanic cosplay was yesterday...right? amirite????


Sufficient_Guess2732

Think not so much of what you lack as of what you have: but of the things that you have, select the best, and then reflect on how eagerly you would have sought them if you did not have them. Cmon' Marcus The gang just want a lettuce.


Mitchuation

I have stupid and I would not seek it.


botched_stunt

Early April ~~day~~ trade update: bought $5k IMU at 0.25 now worth 0.15 Stay tuned for more plays


nohorncap

average of .28 here...fucking hell. and of course my smooth brain wants to fix this by buying more... \*sits on hands\*


MAPABI

5k? Small fry


Ashley_Sophia

OH HOHO HO LOOK AT MR MONEY BAGS OVER HERE AY Oi can I borrow $50 sir? My pets need to eat tonight


Calm_Lengths

Username checks out This is also me 🤡


jockr64

US Futures now slightly green. Will do fuck-all good anyway!🤡💨


Mr_X2017

Well not really. DOW -1.94% then +.14% futures. That's still a paddlin'. However futures were ~-.4% when ASX closed yesterday so you put all that in the random pot and you get -1.4%. Sprinkle on it being a Friday with US CPI figures coming tonight and oooo baby we got a blood stew going.


skullofregret

Don't forget the long weekend!


Ashley_Sophia

Blood stew u say? Yep, that about sums up my life recently. FUK YOU LITHIUM YOU LYING BITCH I'LL NEVER TRUST YOU AGAIN


jockr64

haha, a much better way of putting it. Cheers!🍹Might have a Bloody Mary to go with your Blood Stew!!🫕


SnooDonuts1536

Woohoooo beer 🍺 market


BadWantMoneyNowMeSic

Should we tell him?


Ashley_Sophia

dON'T YOU dare


9aaa73f0

There was a flash-crash yesterday in TGR A Barenjoey analysis came up with low valuation, it was in part based on a DCF analysis with bad input (declining Salmon revenue out to 2030 with stable volume). The Barenjoey DCF valuation was less than half the GS DCF valuation which was released a week earlier. SP was down 12% at one stage, but recovered most of it.


MAPABI

Well, think I'll be away from the screen today. Sometimes it's for the best 🙈


BuiltDifferant

Wake me up when 2022 ends


Ashley_Sophia

Goodnight, sweet prince. \*smothers u 2 deth with ur waifu pillow\*


MattIJAllan

5 red days in a row, looks like im a “long term investor” now


killtheking111

Thoughts on CBA?


raindog_

As much as we want to hate it - right now, blue chip stocks with solid EPS growth prospects and reasonable PE ratios are the bet. I'd argue that those outweigh bonds as well right now. So you're sniffing in the right place - I'd be looking at all 4 banks. I think UBS recently changed ANZ to Buy, with the other 3 at neutral - but do you research. Banks aren't always easy for DD... there's a LOT going on there outside of retail & home loans and the obvious stuff. Best to use reports where you can and educate yourself.


nohorncap

[backs far, far, away](https://www.google.com/search?q=cba+fined)... edited to add apparently macquarie is the way to go... [12ft link](https://12ft.io/proxy?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.smh.com.au%2Fbusiness%2Fbanking-and-finance%2Fmacquarie-seeks-to-disrupt-by-paying-up-for-transaction-accounts-20220608-p5as45.html) u/killtheking111


anomaly256

I think the bank stonks might slip further with upcoming rate news from the US. Just my opinion not advice dyor omgbbq etc


killtheking111

I would think bank stocks would do better in a higher interest rate market wouldn't they? Then again, more delinquent loans will probably hit.


tragicnostalgic

In theory they make more per loan, however when unemployment rate rises people feel less secure and are less inclined to buy houses. And of course there’s increases in defaults on existing loans. I sold my bank stocks for a modest loss


anomaly256

I think it means the economy slows in general depending on how large the rate increase is. I've also heard the argument that it lowers the number of loans people take and changes the levels of risk lenders are willing to take with them but I'm not convinced that actually happens in reality. In my mind though it's quite likely that this does change the \*size\* and duration of the loans people take which will directly affect bank revenue. (Not advice just opinion I R retard etc)


Texas_Tom

If the rate rises cause us to go into recession, and the unemployment rate starts to rise, delinquent loans could become significant


Dude_Chucks

I hear they are some sort of place you can give and or get money? Sounds like a scam tbh


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killtheking111

Research what? I know exactly as much as you which is fuck all!


Texas_Tom

House is burning, this is fine.gif


Frequent-Increase-73

"Cost of full tank of petrol in UK soars to staggering $175" - for 55 litres yikes. I'd rather buy 17.5 heads of iceberg lettuce


The_Wombat2081

Good luck getting .5 of a lettuce…


SunkDestroyer

How good is being young 🥴


BadWantMoneyNowMeSic

Oof we’re not far off that. Interest rates up, prices up, big businesses will start the layoffs soon. All that capital has become heaps expensive and can’t keep raising prices when the consumer has no money to spend.


quiksilveraus

Where are all you crazy mother fuckers holding inverse ETFs? Surely you will all be aroused for the better part of today. 💵


SunkDestroyer

How was the camping trip big dog?


quiksilveraus

It was good thank you brother. Went up to the snow, looked for some new camp spots up there then camped at the bottom of the mountain, before the masses arrived for the long weekend. 36 hours of silence was good for the mind brother❄️⛺️🔥


SunkDestroyer

Nice brother, I can’t wait to get back out bush again! I go on a remote expedition every summer but I really want to do a winter trip one day. Thinking Frenchman’s cap would be an epic.. Is there many multi day walks (3+ days ideally) in nsw high country? I’ve never even been to the blueys


quiksilveraus

Shit, Frenchman’s looks epic? There’s an app called AllTrails. It’s pretty decent for hikers I believe. I camped near the Coolamine Homestead in Kosciusko National Park last year. I know there are some multi-day walks around there and a water fall too I think. Camp with wild horses and everything up there - it’s unreal.


SunkDestroyer

Thanks dude! I’ll check it out


Vegetable_Spend576

Twisting my nips


cameltrowe

Okay, it’s about to get full BBUS BBOZ in here. Is it finally time to get bear-curious?


theoriginaluser01

Bears are furry, I think it's time to consider becoming a furry.


tofufizza

NDXKOU is more better you get a gearing of approx 92.41% which equates to 13x leverage. BBUS / BBOZ are terrible products. For Oz I used XJOKOP.


The_Bearjew_bottom

is that even street legal? i can't find it with my broker. do you have to know a guy who knows a guy?


tofufizza

It's a Warrant. You have to sign up on your broker if they offer it.


bootros44

13x? That’s insane


tofufizza

Not really, I used CFDs back in the days when it wasn't heavily regulated, some brokers allowed 20x to 50x leverage.


Dude_Chucks

I’m listening 😏


cameltrowe

Hey man I’m retarded but not that retarded.. yet


paulm1927

But I bet you’re looking at it….


Mast3rfinish25

Dam that was tempting. Thankfully Nabtrade disallowed it.. Soo how do I allow it? Asking for a friend.


tofufizza

You need to fill in a form stating that you are retart'd enough to trade warrants and options.


destined2bepoor

Where's the positivity gone people?! It's not all doom and gloom. We haven't been charged for the oxygen we breathe yet!


l8rb8rs

Not in Australia, but I believe China built fresh air domes over some school basketball courts. Just gotta figure out how to block the Sun and profit from it....


cio82

I bad want money now


Niemz

It's kurns stupid!


BadWantMoneyNowMeSic

Hey that’s my handle


Jason_Tail

Ok this is fucked now.


coastie_trader

Jesus christ is there even anyone left to sell?? This is getting really fucked up now


Frequent-Increase-73

Nasdaq spirals down in the last few hours of the session. Friday is looking like pound town.


tofufizza

I opened a short NDXKOU yesterday arvo, good day for me 😂


BuiltDifferant

My LNAS won’t look too hot today lel


buffalo_bill27

Pls US my a** can't take any more


peaandham610

Come on Tom you fuck, my girl needs an engagement ring If she doesn't get it from me, her boyfriend will have to get it


spook1205

I used to look at pictures of Lambo’s and dreams of buying, now I go to woollies just for the lettuce section porn.


Neither_Pea_5305

When lettuce?


spook1205

That’s gold!


Blisser_the_Sniff

This. The new war cry


Hot_Acanthocephala53

eat shit CBA


nohorncap

Just watched "the inside job" and the amount of times Goldman Sachs is brought up for behaviour which paints them in a bad light is...I should be astounded. I thought the articles in rolling stone etc managed to spell out exactly how low they were. Nope.


wuhanlabrador

Can RNU not drop 5% for once?


Android515

Shits fucked


rattled1315

I made enough money to buy 3 potato cakes. But this doesn’t take inflation figures into account. *sigh*


TheRubyKnife

I don't need reminders about the state of my portfolio in real life. Coming back from the gym and it started raining, so I thought I'd just run home to not get drowned, forgetting it was leg day. About as successful a jog as PLS post GS. Like the contents of my portfolio, I can only hope no one saw it.


quiksilveraus

What’d you train for legs? I haven’t been able to train for months. The things I would do for some front squats, leg press, leg extension/ham curls then bulk bodyweight lunges and squats 🤤


TheRubyKnife

Back squats, bulgarian split squats, lying leg curls and calf raises for yesterday. Like to do front, but need better ankle mobility it seems.


nohorncap

>About as successful a jog as PLS post GS. Looking forward to seeing you smash yr run in the not too distant future then :)


TheRubyKnife

You and me both, but I don't think I'll hold my breath in the meantime


bumbumpoobags

If I meet one, Il ask him


MAPABI

Top Gun: Maverick. Top notch. Best film at the cinema in a while (unless you like Marvel junk) 🛩⌚🪂


dynamic_cubemap

Nice - will check it out out as hearing good things. The new Dr Strange was okay, but if anything, not strange enough! And it has a character called "America Chalice" - so, um, "America Cup" then? Typical dialogue: "Please don't do anything to hurt America" / "I will defend America"... Jesus fucking Christ. Subtlety not a strong suit.


quiksilveraus

Agreed. Was fucking sick


A_Anderson151

I'm seeing it for a second time on Xtreme screen. So damn excited


BeardFactory

I've only heard good things. I recently watched: Beyond the infinite two minutes (2021/2020), The Platform (2019) and Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022). All excellent movies if you're not afraid of reading some subtitles.


Asxpuntingmuppet

Yep agree mate , they did it well, must see in the cinema


viserys-the-dragon

You guys know you can put anything through the self service checkout as unwashed potato’s right? Lettuce/cabbage/vitamins


dynamic_cubemap

Woolies has cams and some basic image recognition - I've had the self service bleep to get an attendant over to check that what I've put through is actually what I've said it is a few times (which it always was). Not worth it unless you're stealing lettuce & calling it cabbage (which might be the infinite money hack of our age) 😂


quiksilveraus

PlayStation 5’s


anomaly256

Not if ROC's product takes off


sneakycutler

About as useful as saying ZIP is at a very cheap price rn


Ozemuss

Better hope mrs magillacuddy the check out granny isn’t all over you. I pause for .5 a second and she’s frisking me like junkie in Victoria Street Richmond.


ewanelaborate

We would probably fuck it up and put heavier stuff through as $11/kg mushrooms


BuiltDifferant

Ahhh I’ll just click this caviar button fuck!!!!


Far_Unit9020

14 more trading days in this financial year. Fuck knows if this is good or not. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.


jtrulerededit

Removed all my lambos and ferraris from car sales saved list and added few Kias and Corollas.


Rosencrantz1710

When’s Albo going to do something about the distinct lack of tendies lately? I didn’t vote for this!


bumbumpoobags

It won't be Eazy under Albanesey... The clues were there


Quarterchickenchips

Getting crazy under Albanesey. ​ \*That's how he said it...


YouHeardTheMonkey

Better than the scam dream with scumo which was blatantly obvious.


Rosencrantz1710

Yeah but the other mob were promising a hole in every bucket which seemed counterproductive, so what was a sensible voter to do?


Meaty0gre

I didn’t vote for fucking cabbage, wait I didn’t vote at all…. Probably should have then I could still have lettuce with me tendie sammich


ewanelaborate

My local had iceberg lettece today for $3 so I don't what the fuck everyone is on about atm.


spook1205

I hope you bought the dip and loaded up.


Meaty0gre

Yeah my local farmers market is dirt cheap, like cheaper than normal… broccoli 1$ a bunch. I bought a medium sized cardboard box filled with veggies for 20$ lol.


No_Rain3020

You guys that been doin this for years it always comes good right if you wait long enough dosnt It DOSNT IT🤔


Meaty0gre

Nah we fuk


bane-of-oz

Depends if the stock de-lists. Otherwise yes it always should


zenelyoulater

Might be a interesting friday with America's cpi data coming out, guess ill wake up and see how it goes 😂


AltruisticCurtains

Comes out on their Friday morning / 10.30pm Friday AEST time


zenelyoulater

Yeah haha i know, ill just be asleep when there markets open to see the affects 😴


AltruisticCurtains

The European Central Bank has said it will stop buying billions of euros of bonds in early July and raise interest rates by a quarter of a percentage point. Europe red, and I think US futes to follow shortly Edit: Narrator: 11 minutes later, US futes went red.


BadWantMoneyNowMeSic

Shanghai will lock down a south-western district on Saturday morning to conduct a mass COVID-19 testing drive, its first major movement restriction since the financial hub exited a bruising two-month crisis earlier this month. The mini-lockdown is raising concerns that the city’s reopening is backsliding as officials fear a rebound in cases. Although the plan is to close the Minhang district of 2.65 million people for only Saturday morning, residents face the risk of being confined to their homes for another two weeks if any infections are discovered. Elsewhere in the city of 25 million, officials appear to be escalating curbs and placing compounds back under lockdown over the slightest hint of infection risk. Some housing compounds in the central Jing’an and Xuhui districts were sealed for 14 days from Tuesday, although only close contacts – no confirmed cases – were found among residents. CCP --> 🤡🤡🤡 Once of the most important economic hubs in the world and they'll just keep throwing it into lockdown. Good luck as all that supply chain moves somewhere else you dumb fucks.


Quarterchickenchips

Maybe they know something we don't and there's an evil brew of BatSoup Version 2.0 lurking somewhere out there in downtown...


PM_me_ur_bingo_nos

My conspiracy theory was that sars2 electric boogaloo was a CCP hit job on the world economy to test developed nations capacity to respond to such a disaster. They've done such a shit job at managing it themselves that it may actually be true.


Ozemuss

Would’ve thought, given their history with human rights abuses, that the politburo wouldn’t just let it run rampant to thin their ageing population right out.


Massive_Button9434

We work with people in China, a few months back some of them went in to hard lockdown, again .. “Lockdown, again ! How many cases there ?” Answer “Three” Gulp


Alkazard

Not that I wish to defend China in any way, shape or form - but transmission is going to be severely higher when that city has the entire population of Australia knocking shoulders every day. That'll spread like wildfire


BadWantMoneyNowMeSic

Phew, lucky we locked down to stop COVID, let's get right back to... ahh fuck it's back! How does this keep happening?


Retired-Wiggle

Through the delusion that it can be stopped. Let it be and get on with living.


Economy_Difficulty71

Gunna buy some CKF cause all you MFrs are gunna be able to afford shortly is cabbage laced Kentucky Fried Chicken…. Myself included….. fuck