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Accomplished-Curve75

Medieval torture methods.


Deep-Doughnut-9423

Yep, been there mate.


Gold_Dragoon

OOH, I was on that hyperfixation train for a while too! what snapped me out of it was visiting an actual medieval torture chamber that had been converted into a museum. Its last recorded use was sometime in the 1700's. While going on the tour I could still smell blood in the room, that REALLY shocked my system and brought me out of it.


Master-Rickert_117

Some of them were so damn brutal. It's sad to think that some innocent people were forced to go through that kind of hell because back then they sentenced people just because of hearsay or because of lack of faith or some shit.


esaruka

There is museum of torture in Mexico City you would love. Seeing it up close is even creepier.


ESKodiak

This one might not seem like disturbing I guess. I don't know. For like 3 months I was the most hyper-fixated ive ever been on buying a house. At the time I was broke. I still am broke. I dont know what was wrong with me. I even went as far as setting a meeting with a realtor and was making a short list of houses to go see. Knowing crystal clear I could not make a monthly mortgage payment. I even convinced my wife we could do it. One day I snapped out of it and had to then talk my wife out of it because she was so excited after I convinced her we could do it. I was truly ready to destroy my life for no reason and I was like a passenger watching myself do it. I still think about that phase a lot.


palaeoanth

Wow I feel this one. I went through a phase of being hyperfixated on the idea of living on a house boat. I was looking up how to get boat loans while I was at work and emailing people about securing a permanent moor. I was sending pictures of boats I wanted to renovate to my architect brother and trying to convince my mum that this would be a really smart investment. Needless to say, I figured out that it was not at all a smart investment and I also had basically no savings to speak of at the time. I think I just really need to “explore the idea” before I could let it go.


Acceptable_Height_26

“Explore the idea” is a really excellent way to put it. I go way overboard “exploring the idea” of relocating to a different city/state every 6 months for the past 5 years. Hours and hours on Zillow. Researching music venues and outdoor trails and shops with everything I’d need. Look at the adoptees at the local shelters and Google earth the daily commute. Tell my friends about all my plans and why it’ll be so great but not to worry we’ll visit a couple times a year (they learned a couple years in they’d take it seriously when they saw me packing boxes). Like OP, one day I just snap out of it and suddenly see all the different reasons it’d be ridiculous to up and leave. Rinse and repeat


watermooses

I do this with literally every hobby. I've come to realize when I'm doing this and will try not to make a purchase for at least a week or two hoping it'll pass. I'd often go the buy once cry once route though and end up with a high end airbrush and compressor for painting models that I don't do anymore and have a $1200 combat flight sim HOTAS setup that is collecting dust in my closet, and buying Milwaukee Fuel professional grade power tools to change the oil in my truck occasionally, or buying several insanely complex board games that nobody will ever play with me. Fortunately I went for a mid range sim racing setup instead of high end, because I'm already bored of it, lol, I'm still in the return window for that one but can't bring myself to box it up and return it. I may want to do it again soon!


oursilenthearts

sometimes the lengths the fixation takes us to is the scariest part. hope you’re doing well now, and thanks for sharing!


floodinsurancebabe

damn, this feels slightly familiar. Lately I've been really really into the idea of going to to law school. Like very suddenly and very seriously into it. it's not an insane idea - my undergrad major feeds into law pretty nicely, I've definitely thought about it before and I have the grades to do it. But right now I am weirdly fixated on it in a way I never have been before. It's all I think about - LSAT prep and researching schools and researching specialties and picturing myself getting into law school and being a law student and a future lawyer. I've thought about it casually but I've absolutely never been *obsessed* like this, and I'm already two years out of college. I'm trying so hard to figure out if this is a spontaneous fleeting obsession or if I really have just finally figured out what I want to do. It's the first postgrad path that I've felt genuinely good about so far and that's a very exciting thing, but I definitely don't want to wake up in three months or a year and think wait what the fuck am I doing? I will say that I have not told my family about my intentions and I don't plan to spend any money until I am actually ready to register and take the LSAT. I figure that's a bar that's hard to hit without real intentions, right? right??


marthamelion

Yes!! I’m a current law student and also somewhat spontaneously decided to go to law school. Idk if I would recommend it to everyone but while you’re studying for the LSAT, I would def research job outcomes that you would want—it could be the perfect field for you, or it could lead only to jobs you would hate— r/LawSchool or r/lawyertalk have some good insights sometimes, but take it (and r/lawschooladmissions) with a grain of salt. As anything, some people love it and some people hate it. If you don’t want to sink any money into studying, I would super recommend Khan Academy for LSAT prep. It’s free and fantastic. I didn’t buy any other prep books when I was studying for the LSAT (and got a score that got me into multiple T14s). If you truly want to test if it’s just a hyperfixation, study a lot and if you get a score that could get you to the school you want that will give you the job you want, then you can register for the exam and you don’t even have to tell anyone until you get your score back and you’re happy with it!


floodinsurancebabe

Thank you!! I have some vague career ideas - my plan was always going to be nonprofit/government work anyways, so I'm looking into legal aid and public law. Actually practicing law would be lit, but I also love the idea of writing/publications. My goal is to smash the LSAT each way to Tuesday and hopefully find a school that will give me a good enough scholarship for me to have a career flexibility. We'll see how that goes but I'm manifesting it 🤘 I'm using Khan academy *and* I found some basically new LSAT prep books at the public library (god bless libraries), so I definitely have enough to keep me busy until I'm far along enough to make a smart decision about whether it's worth investing some money into higher level prep. I'm very glad to hear Khan Academy is good prep!! Anyways, thanks for the advice and wish me luck!


akrolina

Oh god this reminds of that time I wanted to adopt a horse lol


Strickens

Similar thing here, except I actually went into a building company last year to talk over finances, what I needed in a house etc and after talking with their finance agent (who is amazing btw) we found some options and a way to make it work. That was a little over 12 months ago and I'm now less than a few weeks away from meeting my savings target to secure the finance for my home build. The only downside is that the build time is currently 28-36 months. But the flip side is that is that you don't start paying any repayments until the house is built and you get your keys and move in. I just have to put up with living with my mum in the mean time. I'm also using the hyper fixation on home ownership to work on upskilling myself so that I have the skills and abilities to get into a better and high paying job. Thinking about maybe doing FIFO or saving up to get like a crane license or dogging/rigging, truck driving license or excavator. Basically anything that's in demand, high paying, and in my line of work.


pennylaneseven

I hyperfixated on the Pacific Northwest for a while. Then I had a bit of a breakdown. I live here now. 😂 In all seriousness- was it my most well thought out decision? Absolutely not. But it did turn out to be what I needed in none of the ways I expected.


JLB24278

That’s funny because I also moved to the a PNW not so much of a breakdown but a fit of rage and I love it here


BrightestofLights

You live in reddit?


Frashmastergland

I love this one. There is some interesting stuff going on in our brains. I’ve done similar things but never a purchase as big as a house. The fact that we know it’s not going to happen the whole time freaks me out.


TrevoltYT

That’s fucking hilarious bro, I sympathize with that so hard but I deadass laughed my ass off reading that because it’s so relatable.


noodlesinabowl27

The worst hyperfixation is on a crush.


ExistingInExhaust

it’s like literally on some insane level and so many people find it like annoying or weird when we obsessively talk about them. I almost never notice how deep the hyper fixation was on a crush until after it’s over (after agesss)


shabi_sensei

The process of getting over a crush hurts too. The gradual realization of “yeah, this person isn’t special at all why did I waste my time?”


[deleted]

Sometimes I fixate on somebody I hate or I had problems with and this aurally fucks me up. It's so bad I even have dreams with the person. I really hate it.


Teacupsaucerout

This maybe sounds silly but loving kindness meditation might help with this. I don’t know if “aurally” was a typo for “really” but it made me think you might be open to meditation. There are a ton of different videos out there so try to find a voice that is comforting to you. Might help you too u/nocreativeway. (Edit: The basic idea is you extend compassion to someone you love deeply, then to an acquaintance, then to someone who is difficult. I lack compassion for myself, so sometimes the difficult person that I focus on is myself — and my adhd brain. It helps.)


greatbigaokay

Oh so agree with this. I’ve realized a crush is almost the opposite of having compassion for the person. Objectification as opposed to loving kindness - somehow getting in the mindset of loving kindness softens the obsession


nocreativeway

Ugh me too. I hyperfixate on people I really don’t like and really don’t want to think about.


Deep-Reindeer3384

THIS! That is a real doozy


phantasmagorical

RIP to us elder millennials who have “liked” a post from 5 years ago while scrolling through a crush’s FB feed at 3am


heytherefolksandfry

I was stuck on one for sooooo long and it felt impossible to move on from because we had mutual friends so I couldn't seem to get away from him for long enough for the feelings to pass. I tried so so hard to avoid him, but *man* it felt like he went out of his way to see me and it always dredged that fixation right up to the surface again. I still don't know if I'm over it for good, or if it's just buried deeper because I hardly see him anymore


Philomath1313

Learned the term **limerence** recently (defined by Oxford Languages as "the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship") Totally relate! If it's someone almost in passing or online, mine take about 2 weeks to subside (sucks for this to have happened so many times that I can determine an average lol), if it's someone I interact with multiple times, generally, it takes significantly longer (unless they do something or reveal a trait that is an immediate turn off, then it can stop immediately).


Away_Project4687

This is me right now. We met up last weekend and it went really well, and I think he likes me to, but I just got out of the only relationship I’ve ever had a little over a month ago (we were together 9 years), so I know it’s obviously waaaaayyyyy too soon to be getting seriously involved with anyone. But I just can’t help it he’s so cute and I’m like constantly thinking about him. And I know it’s not healthy and I’m really scared that I’ll scare him off.


ShesShells

Right now???? House search and different purchase options for such. and stocks. It almost feels like gambling Fun fact though…have no money.


PartlyCloudyTomorrow

I was stuck on stocks and crypto. Did not help our roommate also has adhd and we went deep in this chaos tunnel. The was the biggest fixation high ever.


aliceroyal

My partner made $50k off of GameStop and then blew it all on day trading and crypto. Thank god it didn’t last as an obsession or else we’d be living under a bridge. 🤦‍♀️


CRYPTOSTOCKSFINANCE

As you can tell from my handle I too went balls to the wall in crypto and ended up amassing like 50k in assets only to piss most of it away. Anyway i ended up with about 8k all said and done in cash. Now looking back on it, I really was stimming so hard on the general dopamine rush watching my account gain 10k% over a month span. It still stings a bit to know I could've used that $$ to buy more modest investments. The single biggest lesson I learned was cash out when the iron's hot or as a famous song goes " you gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to hold 'em, know when to walk away." Now my newest fixation is Pokémon cards! Much better for my life as I enjoy collecting and I get the added bonus of making memories with my kids. I still also get to enjoy the dopamine rush when I pull a really great card!


PartlyCloudyTomorrow

I was up 30k and ended up at 4k. It is what it is. It was all such a rush. We may, or may not, have bought a shit load of Pokémon cards over the last year or two. I don’t know how these things work but apparently we are being influenced by something.


__ArthurDent__

Went down the options rabbit hole about two years ago during the pandemic stock boom. Made about 20k with options then lost it all and more.


Frashmastergland

Thinspo and eating disorders. Don’t know why.


oursilenthearts

oh i’ve been there and it is AWFUL. tumblr was such a cesspool for that stuff back in the day


Apprehensive_Day_901

If you've been a victim of thigh gaps, you may be entitled to financial compensation.


Merm-a-lerm

Thigh-nancial compensation


bethpye

incredible


Affectionate_Figg

This fixation and tumblr were the stem to my eating disorder lol and my absolute obsession with collar bones 🥴😂


WRYGDWYL

Ohh me too! When I was a teen I couldn't get enough of the Ana-blogs and reading all the secrets and tricks on how to avoid calories without alarming family and friends. I never had the intention to actually diet, I was just obsessed with the 'cult' from an outside point of view. If it's still interesting to you I can recommend the movie To the Bone.


heavensomething

Wow, thought this was just a me thing. Was always obsessed with ED culture as a teenager but never had any intention to do the same, just found the self destruction intruiging.


dianaGB

“Just found the self destruction intriguing” 😂


Alternative_Lie_8826

I have such a problem with To The Bone. Lily Collins had recovered from an eating disorder when she was cast, and even though she’s already really skinny she lost 20 pounds for the role. If you look at her since then, she has not really gained it back fully. As a recovered anorexic, I know that there’s a new theory about anorexia that basically posits that it’s a response to starvation, whereas before starvation was seen as a by-product of anorexia. A person with the anorexic gene loses weight (for whatever reason intentional or not: illness, depression, OR intentional weight loss) and then that’s when the anorexia “turns on” so to speak. So the fact that Lily Collins’ weight loss was motivated by her job and not body dysmorphia doesn’t make it less dangerous for her especially considering her past. And even though I adore Keanu Reeves, the methods portrayed in that film really aren’t effective or realistic. Trust me, I went down the same internet rabbit hole. When I was 10-15 I’d stay up late under my covers watching YouTube documentaries about anorexia and My Ana Recovery (with pictures) videos. I was really obsessed but never had any intention of starving myself. But when I started to go off the deep end in college after trying to lose only 10 pounds…all that toxicity from the pro-Ana websites was stuck in my head and made recovery a lot harder. Here I am 4 years later still not totally better.


WRYGDWYL

Thanks for your insight, had no idea that the role was problematic for the actress. I just found the story interesting and liked that it was loosely based on a real recovery story. That scene with the mother in the tent made me cry so hard..


beachfairy

For anyone thinking of picking up this interest, please don't. This is what destroyed the second half of my teenage years, although the seed was planted long before that. I always felt insecure and out of control, especially in high school. At 16 I was tested for ADD but they told me an intelligent calm (appearing) girl couldn't have it. Joke's on them, I got diagnosed with ADHDpi at 28... That was the only time I felt brave enough to ask for help though and I got turned down. All through my teenage years I was reading celebrity magazines (this was the early 00s lol) and spent my time on Ana xanga blogs, Tumblr and Olsen Twins proboards. The Olsen twins, Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan were my icons. It's literally crazy for me to think about the person I was and the hold these people had on me. Like I said, my focus on weight started earlier on. My dad always made comments about our weight and when you would ask for candy, he'd say "I wouldn't eat that if I were you". Yup, pretty toxic, he's learnt since, but he was just adding to recipe that is a completely fucked up teenager. And what started as probably an innocent hyperfixation on these people and finding a way to lose a little weight quickly became a way of life. I was never overweight though. I just hated everything about myself. I wasn't like them, and I believed I had to look like them to be worth anything, to be able to have someone to love me, stay with me. The headlines and diet mantras in magazines, the ana rules lists got drilled into my brain and thoughts. Spend too much time in these places and you'll start believing one m&m is sinful and making dietary mistakes is a reason to think you're an ugly, unworthy slob. After being ana for 3 months, I turned mia because that was just easier. I started losing weight rapidly. At one point, and for a few years, I finally looked like what I had always dreamt about. But it was HARD to keep that up. It was a terrible way to live, the things I've had to do to my body are horrible, I can't even tell anyone because I'm afraid I might give someone ideas. And the mental toll it took.. it sets you back years. My life was literally on hold all that time. No matter how skinny I was, there were always times where I just wanted to no longer exist. And the things those ana/mia sites won't talk about; you'll ruin your teeth. I came out of it alright, but damage was done. Had never had cavities in my life and in one week, two molars broke off. After lots of therapy and growing up, I overcame my eating disorder. It took me 7 years. And even now, when I'm almost 30, I still have intruding thoughts that I need to pay attention to, it will never fully go away. I learnt that my eating disorder was a way of trying to control my life, because I always felt there was something wrong with me, something beyond my Ed, but the therapist I had as a teenager wouldn't believe that. My last psychiatrist told me about the comorbidity between (undiagnosed) ADHD and eating disorders, especially in girls, and I started to cry. I wasted what should have been awesome years of my life on this stupid shit. If you're vulnerable, it will infiltrate your mind. There is a reason why these sites got banned. Please just don't go there if you think there's even a small part of you that could be influenced by it in a negative way.


esaruka

Oh yeah, nothing tastes as good as thin feels. Didn’t have the disorder but followed and read all the things.


[deleted]

SAME. I'm fascinated by "pro ana" forums even though I don't have an eating disorder myself. It's morbid curiosity, the same as watching crime documentaries about serial killers or diving down an internet rabbit hole about a weird conspiracy theory (like morgellons or gangstalking).


Gh0stwhale

im right there rn, and restricting 💀


nonicknamenelly

Get out while you can. I used to work at an eating disorder clinic (one for teens, one for adults). Anorexia is still one of, if not the, most frequently fatal mental health diagnosis. Get help - you can live a productive, long life full of good things even when you are living with an ED. I have a family friend who adopted two kids because she was too anorexic to conceive. After decades of denial, she started treatment about two years ago. At 42 (!!!) she is finally, wildly happy about being able to get pregnant on her own! It was a happy accident and something she never thought she would get to experience. It’s not too late. Get help.


Gh0stwhale

I am currently getting help from my psychiatrist


nonicknamenelly

Very glad to hear that. Best wishes for a healing journey!


Gh0stwhale

thank you !!


Frashmastergland

Sorry. Try to be easy on yourself. Life is hard enough without you beating yourself up. I know from years of experience lol.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Frashmastergland

Not familiar with ALR. The tictoc thing?


cowwhispers

I wonder if my adhd has anything to do with this 10 year long eating disorder. Maybe it started as a fixation.


VoidGroceryStore

I was obsessed with eating disorders in middle school and now I have anorexia so… Fun times.


SidneyTheGrey

Oh this is a huge rabbit hole for me as well. It is so disturbing.


carolinagirl6996

i hyperfixate on making crafts and trying to sell them to make extra income. I bought a cricut machine (dumbest decision of my life) and atleast once a month I find a new craft on pinterest that I convince my husband I’m going to make and sell to earn some extra income and then of course it never happens lol. he doesn’t even comment any more at this point.


princesskelilah

My cricut just wandered into my repeating cycle of hyperfixation just a few days ago. I'm a body piercer, I have thousands of pieces of inventory of jewelry. Every six months for my 23 year career I decide to reinvent my storage. 10 years ago I found some cabinets that are amazing. A few cycles of obsessing, the cabinets easily win every time and I would buy a new one to expand. Affordable, space saving, attractive, yay! Then my store supplier quit carrying them. So I googled forever and found the listing from the manufacturer. Couldn't buy the huge minimum, but contemplated traveling to sell them to other piercers. I go into an internet black hole every six months hoping someone is making these again. I've tried building my own from wood. They suck and aren't precise and are pretty ugly and jinky. So many rabbit trails. Right now I'm flip-flopping between building them from dollar tree pegboard and CUTTING CHIPBOARD WITH MY CRICUT. Yes I somehow think 20 passes with a knife blade to build a 15x9x24 storage rack will get finished and be sturdy. I have bought svg glowforge files to see how they cut similar items. Now I kinda want a glowforge, cause wood! Why oh why didn't I just buy dozens of them for $50 each 😞 Hopefully I will stop trying to Frankenstein build my pinterest perfect unicorn item.... for about 6 months.


JohnnyG30

My wife makes the coolest shit with her cricut. We make custom T-shirt’s and stuff all the time. She loves it and I love it because we get to design logos and stuff the way we like them. That was one of my favorite gifts I gave her. It keeps on giving and it’s still better than jelly of the month club.


razzretina

The amount of stuff I know specifically about Jeffrey Dahmer and Dennis Nilsen weirds even me out a bit heh. Also plane crashes. I'm grateful for the meds because I stopped the cave exploration accident fixation train before it could upset me any further (now if only YouTube would take the hint and stop recommending those videos; I'm into Mario 64 speedruns now algorithm, get with the program!).


pattyputty

Not sure how much you'd be willing to do this, but deleting your YT watch history could get it to stop recommending you the cave stuff. Or if you don't wanna get rid of *everything*, you could go back and just delete the specific days/videos you were watching. Tedious, but I like to prune my watch history sometimes for similar reasons Also pro tip for everyone: you can pause your YT watch history! :D


chucknorriscantfight

Okay, are you terrified of flying? Because I hyper fixate on plane crashes a lot and just go into hours of wikipedia of random plane crashes and I’m HORRIFIED of flying in planes. And I have to do it all the time🥲


plantieprincess

Oooh i got Dennis Nilsen as well! I listened to this great audiobook about him (the only audiobook i ever finished) called “killing for company” It accidentally taught me a Scottish accent as well lol


swellaprogress

Have you seen the nindiddeh speed runs? His super mario sunshine one is iconic!


razzretina

I'm not sure if I have or not yet. I'm blind so mostly I watch GDQ and SGDAYQ runs because they're good at describing what they're doing. I'll have to see if I can find his run tho, that sounds amazing!


oursilenthearts

i’ve never been brave enough to really research Dahmer, but the cave exploration accidents sound SO interesting


razzretina

I don't recommend it honestly, everything about his case is sad and awful and also there are parts that are really horrifying. I've found the cave exploring stuff more sad than anything although some of it is pretty gruesome. I think Scary Interesting on YouTube is where I saw a lot of good stuff, he has a series about cave explorations gone wrong.


thhppppp

I just found Scary Interesting on youtube a couple weeks ago and am loving his stuff! Especially the visual aids which makes it easier to pay attention.


Gullible-Passenger67

Look up the Nutty Putty cave accident with the drawing of the cave & position. ⚠️Horrifying ⚠️


that1sluttycelebrity

I'm hyper fixed on death. I can't stop thinking about when it might happen, I constantly calculate how much time (based on average life expectancies) I probably have left, think about how it might happen, who will be left, having to watch my cats pass on, having to watch my fiancé go or vice versa, etc etc etc. I've been stuck like this for over a year, I hate it and would give anything to stop thinking about it.


sansvie95

Talk to your doctor about OCD and see what they think. I had pretty consistent thoughts about my family or pets dying. Seeing a bag on the side of the road would send my brain off on the idea that a baby or puppy was inside. Driving over a flyover would lead to a whole internal tap scenario where we flew off the flyover and everyone died by me (or worse, survived long enough to talk to me and then died). There were other, and they were all violent, gut wrenching, entirely internal “movies”. Come to find out, after one of my kids struggled with OCD thoughts about killing the family, usually centered on killing me, that OCD with mostly intrusive thoughts is a thing. I’d been dealing with it myself for at least 15 years and never thought to talk to my doctor about it! For me, Wellbutrin and awareness knocked most of this out - or at least helped me be able to short circuit the thoughts. Other people might need some kind of therapy to get the thoughts and compulsions to ease, but it is soooooo worth it.


nachoman3

Oh my, this made me uncomfortable since I recognise A LOT of what you wrote. I always contributed those thoughts to anxiety, never even considered OCD at allll


Aggressive_Bus293

Yeah my intrusive thoughts were like this when I had OCD. The ritualistic part of OCD was actually the coping mechanism for the anxiety. For example, my obsessions with dying led me to believe I could control the outcome of my intrusive thoughts. I would have a random thought like “if I don’t knock 5 times on that door my whole family is going to die” and actually doing the action relieved that anxiety. OCD Is weird and horrible. I’m so glad I recovered from it.


TheInfamousBlack

I have thoughts like this too and always thought it was my anxiety part as well.


oursilenthearts

that must be awful, i’m really sorry you’re going through that


GalaxyBrainU

I'm similar, but I'm moreso fixated on what happens after. What it's like to have your consciousness float in the universe. Or just trying to comprehend the sheer nothingness and oblivion. Or if there even could be something after. Like I wish I could know without actually doing it lol like a try before you buy type of deal.


ginzykinz

I’ve gone down rabbit holes for all kinds of disturbing topics. Creepy google earth photos, serial killers, animal attacks, plane crashes, mysterious disappearances… the list goes on. All it takes is to stumble on a particular Reddit thread or comment and goodbye afternoon, hello nightmares!


[deleted]

Kinda wanna look up creepy Google Earth photos...how bad are they?


VOID_INIT

Not OP, but had a similar fixation with google earth photos once. It wasn't really that bad, but there have been a few murders and after math pictures taken by the satellite. So if you don't like that you should skip it. But it is definitely interesting. A 20 year old missing person case was possible to solve, because google earth had a picture of the missing car, which was submerged in a pond. It was found by a person living in the same neighbourhood who wanted to have a look at the area and discovered what he thought looked like a submerged car. When the car was towed out, they found the remains of the missing person.


gingerbeardlubber

I love the Adventures With Purpose YouTube channel for similar content. They use sonar technology to find submerged cars and bring closure to families where local law enforcement wouldn’t be able to provide the equipment and work hours required.


boymanpal

Plane crashes/disasters, manmade large scale disasters (think Bhopal gas disaster or chernobyl, that kind of thing), childhood abuse cases/CPS cases, nuclear/radioactive incidents, tragedies caught on camera/moment before tragedy videos. Also a few different medical conditions/illnesses I’d hyperfixate on that people find strange, like childhood cancer or EDS. I’ve definitely had some messed up ones. I‘ve also had plenty of exceedingly normal ones, or ones that aren’t normal but aren’t messed up, it‘s really a mixed bag when it comes to what my brain chooses to latch onto.


Czarbuckz

Are we the same people?


nachoman3

Add serial/mass killers to this list and CHECKKK


TropicalDan427

Videos of humans with active rabies on YouTube. Either that or the “deaths caught on camera” phase I had. No thanks to both of these


razzretina

Morbid sense of curiosity and trainwreck syndrom really makes me wanna look this up now oh no. I think the migraine I'm having will stop me though, I'm already dealing with my own brain being a disfunctional piece of crap, don't need to see it happening to others heh.


VOID_INIT

Actually, morbid curiosity is in some sense good for you, because it allows you to imagine how you would react and behave in a similiar situation, which can ultimately end up saving your life, or at least lessen the emotional stress you would have gotten otherwise. As with most of what is in our nature, we are just programmed to find better ways to survive. Hyperfocusing on morbid curiosity on the other hand, might be a little bit too much though :|


TropicalDan427

Don’t do it for your own sanity


razzretina

Heh yeah I'm down with that reasoning. I'll content myself with the Kutzgezaht (or however it's spelled) recent vid on what rabies does to a person instead. It's a cute cartoon about something horrible XD


derJake

"Kurzgesagt" as in "in a nutshell"


oursilenthearts

absolutely horrifying i love it


TropicalDan427

I’ve never seen anything like it which I think is why it captivated me so much…. The rabies thing that is


bafangoolNJ

I like watching Terrorists getting blown up from the sky or on the ground by infantry soldiers.


w_digamma

I came into this thread for rabies and was not disappointed


freefallfreddy

I don’t want to see those videos but I recently learned a tonne about rabies via a [Kurzgesagt video](https://youtu.be/4u5I8GYB79Y). One gem: it can take anywhere from weeks up to a year from being bitten to getting rabies because the virus “intentionally” takes it slow in getting to your brain. 🤯


M-Cat13

God damnit I think this just awoke something g in me


floodinsurancebabe

i LOVE medical stories. I lurk on r / shitmomgroupssay because they're always talking about horrible fascinating pregnancy complications. I love reading the health news especially when there's specific stories about things like diseases (I've been reading a lot about monkeypox) and cancer and basically anything to do with the human body on a medical level. I love learning about an obscure, or at least unknown to me condition and going down the rabbit hole with it. The irony is that I hate doctors/hospitals and haven't had *my* health checked out since I was a kid. For all I know I could be a part of one of those stories. Fingers crossed I'm not lol.


Select_Lime3079

You'd love my pregnancy story lol 😂 for kicks and giggles what's the most interesting medical condition that caught your attention so far?


WRYGDWYL

Not the commenter but for me it's got to be the disgustingly weird [Tarrare](https://youtu.be/nYHDj2sB-rc)


ShibasInSuits

idk if it counts but I was hyperfixated in a relationship I was pursuing for a while before one day I took a step back and realized she was kinda awful for me and not very good to me either even as a friend. had to look past the picture I built up in my head and realize the reality was not nearly as nice as the fantasy.


[deleted]

This happened to me so many times before.... I got into all kind of trashy relationships because of this.


WriterWorried6771

I don’t think it’s that disturbing but I once as I was walking spontaneously had this movie idea about the biography of a very famous singer that I really love. I spent the month of my finals creating all the characters in complete detail down to the set and fashion design, spent countless hours learning how to sketch so that I can draw story boards, went into one of the deepest rabbit holes of research about every single aspect of the singer and the people around her who were the other characters, creating in depth the First Second and Third act of the movie, scouted for filming locations online and made an entire map of the different locations that the story takes place in. This was all during my neuroscience masters final exams, while also flat hunting IN LONDON bc my flatmates kicked me cuz my executive dysfunction was too dysfunctional for them. Also I was 100% fully aware that in no way was the prospect of producing this full length movie even a possibility, not even in 10 years, probably not even ever, and was crippled with anxiety over the fact that I might fail my exams because I’m procrastinating and also had no clue in hell whether I was gonna find a flat before they kick me out (the kick out date was 2 days after my last final exam). I remember that time and the hair on my arms spikes up, because what in the hell was I even thinking? We all know the ending. I got bored eventually and never thought about the idea again.


Nobody957

Plane crashes. Both the blackbox recordings and photos/videos. Think one of the worst ones I've seen was at an airshow. A jet pulled a stunt too low and clothes-lined the crowd with its wings before crashing. Lots of bisected people and severed limbs. Lots of children.


Global_Sno_Cone

This is my husband. He listens to the recaps on YouTube.


CouldStopDidStop

Non-disturbing: I keep looking up and almost buying old Transformers toys. I have nowhere to put them and I'm rather old to collect toys. Disturbing: Sometimes I rabbit-hole r/popping. There's something incredibly satisfying about the removal of something that doesn't belong. Even when it's gross.


sapphodisiac

Piggybacking on r/ popping, I love it when its specifically the eyes, nose and ears. I also anxiously pick at myself and sometimes it help quell the need and sometimes it makes it worse. But also, a medication I'm on causes deep cysts on my face that I never used to get and I obsess over wanting to cut them open or out. Not go to a professional, just by myself in the bathroom with a scalpel. Most of what stops me is knowing it'd be hard to hide the wound and people would ask questions


Forget-Me-Nothing

Thank you for making me realise I was scratching. I have a chronic pain condition so I sometimes scratch at my skin until I dig holes. I can't feel the pain while I am doing it because I get so zoned out from it/zoned into something else. I scratch until things scar unfortunatly. :/


Zeiphher

Scrolled by because my initial thought was that that link looked good in blue. Impulse control lost and I am SO SATISFIED that I clicked it


Pure_Tree_1140

I had a fixation on the Holocaust for a good while, and also on browsing Documenting Reality… and I’m terrified of death


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

It happened to me as well. I watched the boy in stripped pyjamas in high school and then I was hyper fixated on Auschwitz for years until now........seriously. Now and then I still go read something about it. (it's been more than 10 years since I watched that movie)


the-party-hobbit

I know A LOT about 9/11. There is so much footage and so many people witnessed and experienced it that for a history person like myself, it's a goldmine. But it's also something I don't really talk about. I was about six and remember seeing it on TV, but it didn't affect me directly beyond the vast governmental changes of course. I'm going to school to become an archivist so I get excited when there is tons of footage and oral history about an event. You can even listen to the Howard Stern show as it happened. They were talking about Pamela Anderson, then they were joking about the "accident", then when the second plane came in everything changed. There were immediate calls for retribution and lots of islamophobia. I imagine that's how a lot of people felt at the time. I can't even fathom having to go through a day like that as an adult. I at least feel lucky that I got through my whole childhood without a cellphone and mostly without internet.


BenevolentNihilist1

The most gruesome and awful murders and accidents.


bluebutterflies4

I once got really obsessed with this guy grizzly man, he was pretty famous for going and hanging out with grizzlies in this national park and had names for them and everything. he did this interview on oprah and then like a week later was killed by a grizzly. the reason why i was so fascinated is that he was with his girlfriend who stayed in the tent, listening to him die, and their video camera was on the whole time. so the police had audio of this guy getting eaten by a grizzly bear. i watched so many of his videos and interviews. there is a youtube video that claims it’s the audio but i decided it was fake after all my research lol


oursilenthearts

i’ve heard about this guy! wild animal attacks are GNARLY but i do think they’re important to learn about to help prevent and survive them. if you’re interested in the grizzly man you might like the Tooth and Claw podcast. they talk about a different wild animal attack every episode and it’s fascinating


BananaRuntsFool

I too get obsessed with finding audio recordings or videos of deaths like this. I wanted to find it, and I even know the video you're talking about.


[deleted]

Tom Cruise


oursilenthearts

incredibly disturbing


[deleted]

Possibly the most disturbing thing here


VintageRawr

I can't stop watching youtube videos that are plot synopsis of horror movies and video games. A 20 minute video I can put on while doing something else is vastly preferable to sitting and watching a 90 minute movie or playing a 10 hour game. Not really disturbing I suppose, but my anxiety sure thinks it is!


sianarai

Me searching through the comments for new hyper fixations 👀


Global_Sno_Cone

I get on r/environment and read all the climate change doom. I believe it; it’s terrible, yet somehow I can’t stop.


junejulyaugust7

I know, right? I feel like researching it is just wasting the time we have left.


Teacupsaucerout

We have all the tools, technology, and knowledge to live sustainably with the environment and provide for everyone. We struggle with sharing ideas and resources. We need to be pressuring governments/corporations to get to work on systemic changes. In our lifetime, there will always be more we can do. Hope requires action (and rest). It’s not over. We absolutely can reduce suffering and transform the way we live.


justaweirdo84

Lego, im 38 ffs 😂


thatswhat_imnot

Same 😂 Esp the car sets


justaweirdo84

It's so expensive but so good 😂


melonballyunicorn

I'm 35 and I love Lego. Granted, I have 2 kids who are into it, but even so. I've bought sets for myself and have them on display. And I would have way more if I had the space to keep them on display somewhere my younger kids couldn't get to/destroy them. I got the Treehouse and would get sucked into building it every chance I got. There are so many I want lol.


justaweirdo84

My youngest is getting into it now but let's me build it so she can play. My eldest always wanted to do it herself. I've bought a couple for me recently it's so good. I love the lego friends sets they are so cute 😊


NoSurprise1568

I’ve recently been hyper fixating on wigs and wig tutorials lately. Like to the point of where I can’t fall asleep and have to go style a wig. I’m thinking it’ll burn out soon because I’m just excited about trying out different ones for myself, but I keep thinking about all the other important things I’ve been putting off and if ya know, ya know.


sansvie95

Like some others, I have a fixation on looking up the worst deaths and accidents. I want to know what happened and how specific injuries happened. But it’s more from a nerdy, biology/physics issue than the death or injury itself. I also look on social media for the day before a terrible event happened to people. The psychology of how people respond to terrible things is fascinating. And somehow, looking at how everything was fine until it suddenly isn’t is equally fascinating. It isn’t that I don’t feel emotions - I definitely do - but if it’s not my friend of family, I can separate myself from the tragedy and the emotion to an extent. I still cry when I find that last social media post before someone’s loved one died in a car accident or was diagnosed with ultimately deadly cancer. But I can’t help but look. I figure a lot of this is related to childhood trauma. The ADHD just intensifies the initial interest. But the entire family on my dad’s side takes a very clinical and often darkly humorous view on the world. To be honest, that’s probably also an indication of that thread of mental health concerns running through that side of the family. My great grandfather apparently killed a man with a ball peen hammer during an argument. My dad didn’t tell my mother until after they were married because he knew she would have walked away.


studdex

these aren't really disturbing but a person and paris catacombs


The-Dying-Celt

Been there + done that


Tedesco13

For me, it has been music. I can't stop listening to three records ALL THE TIME.


yiffzer

I listen to the same song 100 times in a day. Then I eventually (emphasis on *eventually*) move onto something else and play that on repeat for 100 times too. And then repeat again the next day. Sometimes I go back to the same exact track and play it to death again.


Sploob

I feel this! I find a new track/album, listen on repeat for a week, then find a new one. Also when I try to listen to it again too soon after I stop fixating on it, I cringe at myself, thinking "Been there done that now, get over it".


RoseQuartzPeony

Necrophilia. I was listening to a song by Avenged Sevenfold and the lyrics confused me. I was like 13-14, didn’t know that people fucked corpses (cause who the hell would think humans did that) so I read up on what the lyrics met, was horrified, and then went on like a 3 week binge, reading everything and anything I could find on the subject matter. I still can’t listen to that song and not recall the stories I read…


sushi-screams

Civil engineering disasters, true crime, and serial killers.


gemvandyke

Cockney rhyming slang. Help me


[deleted]

I snooped through my boyfriends iPad and found a bunch of pictures of his ex girlfriend (nudes mostly) and was hyper fixated on that for monthsssssss. Then hyperfixated on their relationship and asked him a bunch of very personal questions. Not my best time but it happened.


blackraspberr

While I don’t support the snooping in a relationship, I would also be pretty upset if I found nudes of my boyfriend’s ex on his phone/computer/etc.


[deleted]

It was my one and only time snooping and that’s what I found. I definitely learned my lesson.


blackraspberr

I hear you. I just hope you and your boyfriend had a conversation about what you found. I guess what I’m trying to say is your hyperfixation is valid here because I also wouldn’t be too happy to find something like that on my SO’s devices


[deleted]

I'm hyperfixated on my relationship and his exes. Now I'm going to think about what he has in his camera roll 😩


manchEsther

Me too! In fact I once spent a week thinking about her name (his ex) and just that basically. It wouldn’t leave my mind. Would that be considered hyperfixation or more ocd? Also i cannot stand stand stand it when he brings her name up or any other ex for that matter, it makes my stomach turn and and I start fixating on if she was better in bed etc


[deleted]

Yeahh... I'm gonna go ahead and say it for the benefit of others who may be reading, not necessarily you: If you feel the need to 'snoop' then your relationship is not healthy and you need to address that. **Either** because your partner's behaviour is suspicious and/or they have cheated on you in the past, in which case you need to seriously reconsider being in that relationship, **Or** because you are struggling with insecurity/jealousy even though your partner *hasn't* done anything suspicious, in which case you need to see a therapist yesterday, because this can affect your partner's mental health as well as your own. Snooping is never the answer, *nothing* good comes from it and relationships are very hard to salvage after the fact.


[deleted]

Yep! You’re absolutely right. I was the one who was unhealthy and was dealing with jealousy/insecurities. I’ve since been to therapy and am continuing to go and it has made a world of difference. Thankfully our relationship was able to be salvaged but it was definitely an ugly time in my life that I’m not proud of. Thanks for your input though, it was very true and beneficial.


Select_Lime3079

I guess I don't see it as disturbing, but I enjoy architecture fails. In particular this one, but be warned it's pretty bad. [here big file](http://pmsymposium.umd.edu/pm2017/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2017/01/Schulman_Hyatt-Regency-Hotel-Walkway-Collapse.pdf) I enjoy reading about failure in mechanics and the likes as well as surgeries. I think there is always something to learn and my brain latches on to the knowledge and eats it up. I have a very dark sense of gallows humor so these things don't actually bother me and it takes a lot to phase me. It's not the gore that draws me it's the discovery of what went wrong and why and how it is fixed and overcome. I want to know why. What failed in the chain of events. It's like an obsession I need to know why things fail to such an extraordinary degree.


madeto-stray

Torture! I think I was reading Murakami book where someone gets skinned alive and some other gruesome things, was like "did people really do that?" and went down a rabbit hole of different kinds of torture and also fun things like people eating each other and mass rapes. Obviously really disturbing but I can't stop. It's so fun being in my head!


Deep-Doughnut-9423

Man, the wind-up bird chronicles. Damn, that scene hit hard.


that_lesbian_friend

I think the worst one I had was a few years ago when Denmark changed some of its laws around animal abuse and zoophilia and my ADHD brain decided that it wanted to go on a deep dive into *why* people are zoophiles. Lemme just be clear, I was not fixating on the acts of zoophilia itself, but on the psychology behind it. We have pretty decent research into pedophilia but not Zoophilia (at least at that time, this was maybe between 8-10 years ago if not more??). Luckily I managed to snap myself out of it before I made an account on a closed forum for zoophiles just to see if I could learn more about the thoughts behind it (I had read an article where the journalist had done the same and actually managed to get a few of them to answer some questions and I knew that he had other conversations with them that they did not let him include in the article but that were still available in the closed forum, hence my curiousity). Let's just say I am very glad that no E-mails that can be linked to me were ever tied to that forum.


bananabreaddoc

Mt Everest (and the dead bodies that are still there!) Titanic. Cross-allergens (ie if you become allergic to latex, you have a really high chance of developing an allergy to avocados, too!) Demonic possessions. THE UNABOMBER. The 1 antibiotic I would bring to a deserted island (for context, I’m an MD so I spend all my days choosing between antibiotics for other people— I go back and forth between augmentin and doxycycline!) Obituaries of people in different states from all different time periods.


ActualCannibalMrY8s

The Manson Family, I maybe took it [a little too far](https://www.reddit.com/r/serial_killers/comments/tcgza1/ive_heard_a_theory_that_bruce_davis_was_the/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) a while ago


oursilenthearts

Manson’s family is a really crazy rabbit hole to go down for sure


pibluplevel100

cn: holocaust as a child/ young teenaget i had one on the first and second world war, from otto von Bismarck to how did adolf hitler become what he was and the holocaust 😩 i still mention „fun facts“ often when the topic gets brought up and have to really tone it down beiße i don’t want to seem excited i just find it so incredibly fascinating (still) but i would watch videos about the war every single das after school


rats_make_oxytocin

Farming; plants quiver at the thought.


Rough-Bet807

Not disturbing per se but I play 2-7 hours of chess a day sometimes. It's a problem...


yiffzer

I am hyper-fixated not to the point of having OCD but cognizant enough that I can notice it even if I don't care to: someone's appearance and mannerisms. Whether someone's face is asymmetric, have atypical emphatic folds, chin protrusion, excess gum line, indented nose tip, chipped teeth, slightly bowed out legs, boxy jaws, unusual speech / accent, the way they utilize language, whether they've repeated a topic more than once, so on and so forth. I can pick up on all of these little things that it does get in the way of me just appreciating someone for who they are. It gets to the point where I may end up not wanting to marry that person. It has happened to me very recently and it is really heartbreaking. I can't seem to figure out if it's just an attraction type I have or I'm being overly fixated on things that others aren't.


grumpykat2

Murder cases. I apparently just love hating and being disgusted at killer’s.


luckyOshea

Absolutely obsessed with true crime. I don't know why, but it helps me fall asleep.. yikes!


voidcat101

Mortuary science. I was obsessed and was constantly looking to find an apprenticeship with a mortuary technician. I found one across country and was willing to move very far from all friends and family to peruse this. I was broke, no qualifications regarding to this field, and would have been completely isolated. I watched countless autopsy training videos with real cadavers, many from qualified professionals. But when I ran out of these videos I looked for them in some darker places on the internet. I not proud of it but I couldn't stop. (nothing illegal as far as I'm aware). I was willing to give up everything for something I had only been fixated for for only a few months. I knew it was impossible but I had convinced myself I could do it. Now when I look back on it I feel delusional!


BananaRuntsFool

Celebrity or famous death crime scenes. I get obsessed with how, why, when and where they died, the photos, things they found at the scene, etc. I look up famous people that died young and how it happened. A lot of my hyperfixations have to do with death.


lily-malek

idk if this is necessarily strange but anything mob/mafia related. the history and stuff behind it is so fascinating and gruesome


LoadBearngStriprPole

Pimple and cyst extractions/popping. I don't know why, it's just so incredibly satisfying to see something that's obviously bothering someone horribly, and watch it get cleaned out. I just imagine the relief they must feel afterward. I think I missed my calling as a dermatologist.


NeighborhoodProof133

One more. I love reading biographies about bisexual men and women or lesbians (I am a lez female)…. I end up basically doing a full on research project on each subject until I have read absolutely every book, listened to every lecture, watched every movie they were in or produced etc. You get the gist. I have a weird obsession with having to know ALL the deets. Even the ones people would classify as being irrelevant. It’s like a weird research/detail hyper-fixation.


NeighborhoodProof133

Hiking! I have 244 hikes on my list (and I’ve checked lots off already)…. I live in a mountainous region so there are so many hikes to choose from. Anyway, most of my friends had between 15-30 hikes on their lists… no more than that 😂…. I add a new hike or two to my list every week lol…. And now I am starting to add hikes to my list from other surrounding provinces. It’s endless 😂… I am getting around to doing them, but unfortunately I have to work, so I’m checking them off slowly!


crisqin

Not disturbing, but my credit score. Hyper fixating on why my score is what it is, what’s effecting it, what can I do to make it better. Planning out budgets, paying off bills, etc. knowing fully that I most likely won’t stick to it once the fixation wears off. Sigh


witchdoctorhazel

I think serial killers might be the most disturbing one. Viewing it from the outside at least. I just find it incredibly interesting. When I moved into my current apartment, one of the first things I noticed was that the name *Dahmer* was on my key. Apparently the company who cut the key was called like that. But I was still a bit freaked out and intrigued. Lol


plantieprincess

I LOVE THIS QUESTION. -I recreated a painting of Carravagio, following his method. I did this all in my small student room with actual oilpaints (i had to learn his method!!) in the middle of winter, and nearly gave myself painters desease. I “paused” when I was about 2/3s done to let the layers dry… this was 18 months ago. I did learn how to use oils though! -I got obsessed with making the PERFECT fried chicken. I’ve been vegetarian since I was 9. I would feed my experiments to my roommates, and the obsession ended when I used meat replacement… and realised i didn’t like fried chicken. At all. -vintage lingerie and pyjamas. It literally just happend when I saw an ad for a robe that looked like a victorian nightgown, and SO LOOKED SO COMFY. Its was too expensive though, and I started to look for a dupe online. But… maybe and actual vintage one then? In the span of a couple of weeks I acquired an absurd amount of underwear from the 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s. I spend so much money! The best thing from my collection is a light green peignoir with feather trim, that was worn by Paul McCartney’s wife during a photoshoot they did together! I bought from a retired erotica model. I still buy granny nighties when I see cool ones and sleep in them often… they ARE comfy. -Hannibal Lecter, when I was 16. I read and re-read all the books. Loved the movies. LOVED the show. Drew portraits of the character. Taught myself Clarice Sterlings accent to perfection. At it’s hight, I wrote slightly erotic fanfiction (two episode, one online) while listening to Beethovens moonlight sonata played backwards on repeat. For 16 hours straight. This was all almost 10 years ago but a while ago I got tipsy with some friends who are filmmakers, and recited the entire silence of the lambs movie from memory. I was able to describe every scene with detail: the music played in the background, the notes on desks or pinboards, the characteristics of smaller roles… It took me about 45 minutes to do the entire movie and by the end my friends were just kinda… stunned. It is one of my proudest moments. 😎


Applepieoverdose

The Holocaust. I spent pretty much every conscious minute consuming knowledge about the Holocaust for a week or so, borne out of writing a research piece about Holocaust denial. In and of itself, that’s not particularly bad. What makes it bad is the fun little fact that while you’re dreaming your brain generally can’t tell the difference between dream and reality, so it all feels real. I had dreams where I arrived in the camps, went through the selection process; sometimes I was selected for the showers, sometimes for general labour, and once for labour in the commandant’s quarters. I had to stop writing and researching the piece for a week, so that I could focus on something else in an effort to stop the dreams


Amethyst-Warrior

Holy Jesus I dropped my phone in a toilet and didn’t have reddit for a week and fuck have I felt like a right weirdo without reading things like this on the daily to make me realise I’m not alone 😅 I thought I was the only one 😅 nice to know I wasn’t the only 14 year old undiagnosed ADHD kid scrolling through bestgore unawares in the early/mid 2000s


catpackplus

It’s embarrassing and annoying and I hate it about myself. Before bed I make myself check if I need to go to the bathroom again, it used to be so bad I would cry because I just couldn’t make myself stop checking to see if I needed to go “just in case” I’ve always had ocd like tendencies, I was actually worried I was starting to show more aggressive signs. But I finally got some control over it, now i just go 1-3 times before bed


StarsAreCool_

I was really into medieval torture for two months in fifth grade… yep


liisathorir

Skin picking. Been doing it for years and I now have scars on my body. I get in a zone and will lose hours of time self harming my body. What do I attack? Acne, ingrown hairs, anything that isn’t smooth flawless skin. I’ve been actively working on stopping this, and I have greatly reduced how much I pick.


targetgoldengoose

Omg I've found my people, it's like checking off a list. It's really weird we all have the same weird fixations. You think the Adderall is giving us all the same fixations?...LOL


joetheslacker

Rats. I was in university, sucking at it, and got depressed from all the alone time. There was a pet store nearby, I figured taking care of something would give me a sense of companionship. The pet store clerk had a pet rat on her shoulder, he was super friendly and cute. I'd never thought about rats before but suddenly rats became my obsession. I bought a TV stand with a glass cabinet and converted it into a rat playground. I bought more rats to keep him company. At the apex I had 8 rats. My mom begged me to start getting rid of them, so I started selling them off, until it was just the first two I bought. The main guy passed away from cancer, his brother died of a broken heart a month later. I really enjoyed the intelligence and personalities of rats, but I still have nightmares about having to care for dying cancerous rats. When I wake up I'm so relieved I'm not the rat guy anymore.


Boldly-qo

The church of Satan and Anton LaVey's life. I visited a house he used to live in and did rituals in and it just kick-started something in my brain to where I HAD to find out as much as possible, watch a bunch of interviews, etc. I do consider myself something of an occultist so this wasn't anything too bizarre for me but I'm also fascinated by cults and it did scare me how close i got to aligning myself with the church of Satan, which for sure has some cultier sects. Oh and also my long-term fascination with Mormon rituals. I hate the church beyond a rational amount, truly, and for me knowing everything I can about their "secrets" is my way of giving them the finger lmao


BrightestofLights

I fall in love with people I match with on dating apps and bare my heart and then we slowly stop talking as meetups never happen and then I feel heartbroken


dontlooksosurprised

My most detrimental hyper fixation to date is freaking myself out. I know damn well by this point in my life that my anxiety is sooo dangerous once I let myself spend time or energy focusing on one panic inducing thought, that I’ll likely waste strings of days on end noticing new “symptoms” and googling it to death until I’m so thoroughly convinced I’m dying that I’ll start consistently having chest pains/discomfort, hyperventilation, etc. I haaaate this, and this kind of masochistic fear mongering/researching really only started after I had my daughter. She’s my rainbow baby, so the whole pregnancy I was on edge and paranoid, and turns out, when you have kids the fear for them/their health and well-being never ends…it just changes along with new milestones. If I’m not panicking about her safety/well-being then I’m panicked about my own because I have to be alive to protect her. I had been doing really good for a while, but then I got my arm burned and it turned into a 3 week long journey of infection and rash and what have you. Man, that really set me back….now my google history has been so tainted that even if I try to look up benefits of any antibiotics /meds prescribed, auto-fill hooks me up with the most macabre, doomed options ever. Thanks a lot, google


hotcheetogirl

I hyper fixate on the idea of my parents dying sometimes. Whenever it happens, it happens for weeks until I eventually magically stop thinking about it. It goes as far as me visualizing their funerals in my head, what i’ll say, who i’ll see, their caskets and speeches. I think about what’s could happen with my disabled sibling and whether my sister or I will take care of her, or if we will take turns taking care of her or even if we don’t end up taking care of her at all and end up putting her in a home. It’s by far the worst hyper fixation i’ve had for months now.


whoreforcheesescones

I was once fascinated and fixated on Aron Ralston - the guy who cut his arm off after days of being trapped in a canyon. I don't know why, but it was just fascinating to me the lengths a person can go to survive. I found the canyon he was stuck in on google maps and saved it so I could go back to it for future reference. I didn't really realise it would seem disturbing to an outside viewer until I was explaining the marker on my map to a family friend, though.


closebutnopotatoes

I'm a big foodie and tend to get short-lived but mega intense obsessions with food. Nothing groundbreaking but I honestly want to eat that particular food til I'm physically ill. By far the most intense and recent one was a Chinese-style braised pork belly and green beans dish. I was making a huge batch 3x a week and eating it every day for at least one meal. I just couldn't stop eating it for nearly a month When the fixation faded as I was about to have it the last time, I had two bites, felt that it just wasn't the same any more, and was done. Had to put it away and eat something else. Felt like someone had told me santa wasnt real. I actually cried


-F-I-E-N-

Causes of death. once I went so far to make lists of all death causes I could positibly come up with, really gruesome shit somtimes. It honestly made me... (and still does make me... ) feel like a bad person.


i_like_idli

1. Death 2. black head removal 3. morbit curiosity on reddit


joapplebombs

I’m entirely hyper fixated on conspiracy theories and the occult practices of the elites, and you tubes of the end times. Lol. A step up from lonely Minecraft.


tommyoliver420

Unidentified and missing people.


UnspecifiedBat

Cave diving accidents… watched 2 videos with my partner, didn’t like them, told him we should watch something else…then went on to watch another 8h worth of videos in secret without telling him because it didn’t let go of me


ElTristesito

I spent a really long time learning everything possible about the JonBenet Ramsey murder. I wasn’t living in this country when it happened, so I hadn’t even thought about it as an adult, but then I saw a post about it on Reddit and it took up an entire week (or two). Oh, and Burke did it.


WORNbyDevyn

Natural disasters! I’ve probably watched every single tornado, volcano, hurricane, tsunami, and earthquake footage YouTube has to offer. Plus multiple documentaries and shows


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Music. I can pick out and listen to specifically one instrument when listening to a song. It’s like the one obsession I’ve had that hasn’t gone away. It helps when I’m mixing music of my own but I feel like it makes it harder for me to write music because I focus too much on little things, get frustrated that it’s not perfect like my favorite songs and then I give up