How do I stop cutting people off when they're talking
By - pacertest1
I usually apologise for cutting in after I realise I’ve done it and ask them to continue. Acknowledging you’ve interrupted is usually easier than remembering not to do it in the first place I’ve found.
My partner and I both have ADHD and we both interrupt each other. Here are some of my tips for managing interruptions and interrupting!
1) It’s easier to ask for forgiveness. After interrupting, I know the feeling of unease and awkwardness. Usually I’ll say something along the lines of “I’m sorry I interrupted you, I was just eager to add on to what you said and didn’t want to lose my thought. Please continue!”
2) If you can sense this is gonna be a conversation where you’re gonna have a lot to add, try to be proactive. If my partner starts talking about something I know I’ll have a lot to say about, I might say “Is this a conversation where you’re okay if I have a lot to add, or do you need me to just listen for a bit before I share my thoughts?”
3) If you find yourself wanting to interject a lot, try to think some of those interjections to yourself as if you actually said them. This sounds silly, and yes it takes away from your concentration on what they’re saying, but I will imagine in my head that I said my thought to them, and move on. A lot of times, my interruptions don’t really add anything positive to the conversation, I’m just spewing thought hahah
4) Be easy on yourself. It happens. We interrupt. It’s okay!
5) If you can hold your thought, but really want to say it, or even better, can bank up those thoughts, find a pause in the conversation and say something like “I have a lot to say about that. To add to what you said about ____________. Which also reminded me of ______.”
Lastly, it’s almost always gonna be tough to be an ADHDer participating in a neurotypical conversation. However, sometimes people are really endeared by our enthusiasm and perspective. If someone is really hurt by your interruptions, the best you can do is be sincere. You were enthused by the topic, and had a lot to say, but didn’t mean to interrupt. It takes practice and a lot of mental energy, but having smooth conversations is definitely a skill (for everyone!) that we get better at the more we practice.
Omg I have the same problem. Is this an adhd thing?
Always start by saying, 'May I add to it?' 'May I butt in?'
And people will either quickly complete, and if they're really generous, let you speak first.