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What are some Discordian sayings, quotes, phrases that you consider as commandments, statements to live by, or 'Law'?

What are some Discordian sayings, quotes, phrases that you consider as commandments, statements to live by, or 'Law'?

dafirstman

"Everyone here is wrong. Don't believe a word any of them say."


howardphillips1890

I second this. Especially don’t ever believe anything *I* say.


Howmanybutts

A better description of Discordianism in my mind comes from Robert Anton Wilson (paraphrasing) "Most people looking at the Discordian society think its a complex joke disguised as a religion when really its a complex religion disguised as a joke."


Squidiculus

If you prefer, don't.


PeterLemonjellow

I was first introduced to Discordianism by my grandfather. We had a very close relationship, a special bond. Some of my happiest memories of childhood were the times that I spent with him, playing in the backyard of my grandparent's big house. He'd carry me on his shoulders out on the grass... the memories are so vivid and yet so distant. When I got older we grew apart, as is so often the case with teenagers. Just before I was set to graduate high school I got in some serious trouble. I wasn't hanging out with a good crowd, I was involved in stuff I really shouldn't have been, and it all caught up with me. There were concerns that I might not graduate. This was a tough time for me at home, too. My parents had split up by now, and it almost felt like I was losing everything. Then, one evening I'm sitting home alone and my grandfather drops by. He just came by to check on me. He came in and started to boil some water, saying he was going to make some tea for us. He wanted to talk about everything that was going on. It was nice to feel like someone cared enough to take the time. That was when he asked me if I'd ever heard of Eris before. I told him no, I hadn't, who is that? Immediately after I asked him that he accidentally lit his own shirt on fire on the stove. He ran all through the house screaming and panicking, breaking things, basically destroying the place. It was truly a living nightmare. I think that says it all.


shig23

"… as if the sole ironclad rule of our Society isn't that you have to be funny, as much as possible and as often as possible - *or else.*" — [Thornley](https://www.cs.cmu.edu/~tilt/principia/intro5.html)


safiire

If the world starts to grey, get your soap box out of the closet, go down to the street and start shouting passages from prometheus rising at passersby while poorly imitating RAW or McKenna's (or some other funny) voice.


Michael_Trismegistus

These aren't rules, but they're the two parables I share more than any other. https://principiadiscordia.com/book/12.php https://principiadiscordia.com/book/49.php


XC1729a

too my tow two may toe


XC1729a

Unfortuntately someone made every ~~human~~ SENTIENT CONSCIOUSNESS a pope.... I recommend accepting this or sending me money.


PanDariusKairos

Well, firstly, Discordianism isn't a religion. It's an irreligion. Secondly, it's whatever you make of it... Rules? Commandments? Those are for the Legions of Greyface, who are also our sistren and brethren...


PanDariusKairos

Also, no hot dog buns on Friday.


Ill-Parsley-2473

Here come the hotdog jokes!


zomboscott

It's not a joke.


Ill-Parsley-2473

Here comes the sausage truth.


zomboscott

00001 glorious thing about the Pentabarf is that you don't need to believe it to follow it with the unwavering devotion of an unhinged, slobbering and stammering zealot.


Ill-Parsley-2473

There goes the relish jar.


XC1729a

is spam a hog dot?


Ill-Parsley-2473

If you cut out a tiny dot shaped piece, then maybe, but I’m not sure what spam is made of.


XC1729a

that was actually a secret code for hotto doggu


LurkJerk55

Law of 5's. It's all a big hint that we're not really 3 dimensional creatures but 5 dimensional entities. 5th dimension is the psychosphere and you as a concept are 5th dimensional as you're an idea. What you experience with your 5 senses makes up the totality of your experience. You're not experiencing "the world", you're experiencing your 5 senses, and in your *mind*, (5th dimension), you compile all of the input in to your *version of the world that you experience.* Once we realize that collectively as a species and recognize that the circumstances that we *react* to are all ultimately beyond our control, and that it's just been one continuous cause and effect game we *should* reach a point where we no longer **blame** anyone for anything they do, but we also should cease seeking credit or approval for what we do, as all we really do is just shuffle stuff around that was already here when we showed up.


fubo

There are a lot of cases where Greyface says "It has to be A or B!" Gender binary. Party politics. Choosing between two proposals. Intolerance, generally. In pretty much any such case, Sri Syadasti comes out and reminds us of his own personal application of the Law of Fives: 1. It could be A. 2. It could be B. 3. It could be A and B at the same time. 4. It could be neither A nor B. 5. Or it could be something we haven't thought of yet that makes the A/B distinction irrelevant. This turns out to have applications in many, many fields, from building a garden box to doing site-reliability engineering on a major website. ---- Discordians! Do not neglect the less dramatic Saints! Yes, Saint Gulik may protect your stash from nosy buttheads, but Saint Sri Syadasti Syanasti Syadavaktavya has your back when Greyface comes around with faulty dilemmas.


FeepingCreature

A similar pattern occurs in statistics, whenever A and B occur together: 1. A caused B 2. B caused A 3. A common cause, C, caused both A and B 4. A and B cyclically cause each other 5. It's coincidence.


howardphillips1890

Exactly. Ice cream causes violent street crime. Because whenever ice cream sales increase so do certain types of violence. Unless...


Oflameo

Magic is fake and gay.


thetimujin

Take serious things ridiculously and ridiculous things seriously


fuckfree93

20 years a discordian and I still don't know what a Golden Worm is... Pls halp!


memetics_division

You are the golden worm in this, /r/discordian golden apple corps. That's how i've come to understand it


fuckfree93

Is that a good thing... cause gold is good, but calling someone a worm is usually derogatory... But thanks... so, I'm the special golden worm that wormed their way into the corp.


memetics_division

it's definitely not an insult, I am also a worm in this golden apple corps - as is the other Pope in his Golden apple vatican. I don't know if I understand it correctly though it did make perfect sense on acid, that one time. i tried boiling it down to mathematical logic and ignored the fnord. ​ I also failed math.